Saturday, March 17, 2007
So after calling and calling hubby last night, I finally just went to bed around 10:30. I awoke around 1 and went to check and see if he was home, and he was on the couch watching tv. Asked him (of course) why he was so late, and he started saying something about a homework assignment being due at midnight, blah blah blah. Then I asked him how work was. He said, "stupid. They double-scheduled me." I then told him that I had tried calling him and they told me he wasn't there, and the man has the gall to get mad at me! For calling him at work! I always call him at work, I couldn't believe he was getting so defensive. I said I was calling because I wanted to let you know that we have a new nephew. He then explained that double-scheduled meant there were too many people, so he went and then left. Then I asked him if he was seeing someone, and he literally exploded. Got furious with me and started saying how only I would think that because it's something I would do (I did cheat on him when we were engaged. Long story. I was living in another country, it was a looooooong time ago), but he never would cheat. I was furious, not only that he was getting so angry, but that he is still pointing fingers at me. We 'supposedly' have gotten past that, but obviously not. He started telling me to fuck off, so here we are screaming at each other, Chickadee wakes and starts crying, I feel horrible for having woken her up, furious at my husband for being such a dick, so I just go back to bed. He had to be up early for work, luckily before Chickadee was up, so I didn't have to talk to him, and he didn't say good-bye.
Around 11:30 he called my cell phone, which I debated on answering, but I did out of curiousity. "I just wanted to call and say I love you." Then he went on to apologize about how hostile he was last night and that he'd been feeling really guilty about it. He was just really offended that I would accuse him of cheating, since he was really hurt in the past and knows how it feels and would never do it. I calmly explained my side, that 1) we haven't had sex in a month, even though I've lost a lot of weight and am trying to look nice, he doesn't seem to even notice, 2)he never answers his phone, and 3)he's not at work when he's supposed to be and comes home super late. I think it's completely reasonable to have these fears, no matter how much you know someone loves you. So...long story short, I guess we're okay for now. He won't be home from work for another 4 or 5 hours, but we'll see how things go tonight and tomorrow. I bought Borat
, so maybe we can snuggle on the couch tonight and make things better.