Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Chickadee and I both woke up sick today. That sucks. I really don't enjoy being sick. Hubby was home and got up with the babe so I could sleep in. It helped so much, but still felt like crap. Chickadee and I made the 30 mile trek to Hell-Mart. Shopping in a college town is insane, but I've realized that we have to go at odd times and all is usually good. Spent way too much money, it all adds up so quickly. I got Chickadee some color wonder finger paints, a cheap coloring book and some crayons. She loves to color with her color wonder markers, or anything else she can find.
Went back to the therapist last night. I basically told him that I didn't see any reason for me to be seeing a therapist. He agreed. I'm still going to the psychiatrist in a few weeks so he can drug me up, and then back to the therapist after that just for a follow up. I think after that I'll stop going. $20 a pop is a lot when I don't even need to be there. A blog is very therapuetic. Except that I can't ever think of things to write when I sit down, but I've always got tons of things in my head when I'm going to sleep, or driving, etc. Maybe it's just because I feel like crap today. I'll try again later.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Who has ever heard of tornado warnings at the same time as blizzard warnings? I haven't, but that's what's going on today. I'm so so so tired of winter. It was nice the past few days and I rushed outside with chickadee (baby girl) and let her walk off her 3 months of frustration being cooped up. Can't wait until we can outside all the time.
Some good news on my part, sorta. I wrote about this on the old blog, but had a really hard time explaining it. For the past few months, well, since last summer, I've been having what I'll call "episodes." You know when you remember a dream that you didn't remember you had, and you say, "oh yeah, I dreamt that!" I'll remember something like that, but it's not familiar to me at all, it just seems like these really random images of things that I've never seen before. Then the left side of my body starts to ache for about 10-15 seconds. Then it all goes away, but it leaves me feeling completely odd and disconcerted. It's an ucky feeling. When they happen, I always get at least 2 in a day, sometimes up to 8 or so. I don't pass out, and if I'm with other people they have no idea they're happening. So of course I'm thinking "what the hell?" I finally went to see a general practioner, who only put me on a different anti-depressant. Didn't work, obviously, and I was pissed that she didn't seem to care. So I went to see my OBGYN, under the pretenses of needing a pap. She recommended me to see a neurologist. Saw him, he ordered a CAT scan, and EEG
(man, chickadee makes this REALLY hard to write. She's so WHINY!), did those, he found nothing. His advice? "Just forget about it." Easy for him to say. I asked him if he could give me anything to calm me down while they happened, and he said I'd have to see a psychiatrist for that. BUT...before you can see a psychiatrist you must see a therapist. See where this is going? Very frustrating. Than I got the bill. Insurance covered 80%, but it's still about $1000. I cried when I got it. I hadn't told my dad about any of this, I don't know why, embarrassment? Or maybe just the fact that my dad and I can't talk about anything. But that's for another time. I sucked it up though because I needed to know if his insurance could help, because he'd been able to cover rx's before. I thought for sure he'd think I was crazy and not understand, but he was totally cool! In fact, the best part of all, it sounds like MY MOM HAD THE SAME THING! There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Not that having this is a good thing, but there's help, and people that understand. I was almost giddy talking to him, I felt such relief. Now my mom's was a little different, she had epilepsy and had grand mal seizures, meaning she'd actually pass out, but a lot of the symptoms are very similar. And hers started after she had babies, too. She even saw a specialist for 25 years, whom I will now see (not until July, but at least I can get in).
That's my big news. I don't feel quite so crazy anymore. We'll see what happens.
Labels: Episodes, insurance
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Sooo...I'm back. I'm not sure that anyone (except for Emma
) even noticed. I just felt like I bitched and moaned about hubby too much. But sometimes that's life. I've been feeling drawn to start over, so maybe there's a reason, if nothing more than to have someone (something) to talk to. Lots of ideas, but not lots of time to put them down.
I'll start with this thing about myself. I love reading them, but never put them on my other blog because it's only supposed to be about my daughter. I want to talk about ME for a change.
By the way, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is da bomb. It took off hair dye from my wooden cabinets, so hubby will never know! Never know that I'm a slob, that is. Of course he knows I dye my hair. I remember hearing a story when I was about 12 of a woman who never let her hubby see her without makeup, and that blew me away, even when I was young. Thought it was crazy. Still do.
1. Are your parents married or divorced? My mom died in 2004, but they were married up to that point. I'm a little surprised actually that they stayed married. I found out some things about my mom after she passed that REALLY surprised me.
2. Are you a vegetarian? Nope. Tried for awhile, but when I got married it was too hard, as hubby loves his meat.
3. Do you believe in Heaven? I think so. I was raised Mormon, so I still have some underlying belief of something, but these days I'm not really sure what it is.
4. Have you ever come close to dying? No
5. What jewelery do you wear 24/7? My nose ring and belly ring. I've developed a rash to my wedding ring so I can't wear it all the time.
6. Favourite time of day? Putting baby girl to bed, then relaxing in front of the tv.
7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? It's not my favorite, but sometimes I eat it.
8. Do you wear makeup? Yes. I don't feel like I can be seen without it! 26 and my face still breaks out like I'm 15.
9. Have you ever had plastic surgery? No
10. If you did, what would you do? Lipo and tummy tuck. Maybe some bigger boobs that don't sag.
11. What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants and tee.
12. Have you ever done anything illegal? Underage drinking, smoked pot.
13. Can you roll your tongue? No.
14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows? Yes. I also use my fingers. I have that disease (or just OCD) where I pull out my hair. It's limited to my eyebrows and eyelashes, but I usually have a spot where there's no hair left.
15. What kind of sneakers? Adidas
16. Do you believe in abortions? I believe a woman should have a choice over her own body.
17. What is your hair colour? Mousy brown. I've been trying to lighten it gradually, but now it has a red tint to it.
18. Future child's name? Everett for the next regardless of the sex. We also like Sawyer, Evelyn and Elliot.
19. Do you snore? I don't think so. I talk sometimes.
20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? Back to Poland
21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes, I have pink teddy bear named Taffie. I know, I'm a huge dork.
22. If you won the lottery what would you do first? Pay off hubby's student loans. Buy a car that has more than 2 doors.
23. Gold or silver? Silver or white gold.
24. Hamburger or hotdog? Cheeseburger
26. City, beach, or country? They all have their ups and downs
27. What was the last thing you touched. The toilet handle
28. Where did you eat last? In the glider in the living room.
29. When was the last time you cried? Valentine's Day. Hubby came home late and I was certain he was out drinking. He wasn't.
30. Do you read blogs? Duh
31. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? No. I don't think I could pull it off.
32. Have you ever been involved with the police? No
33. What's your favourite shampoo, conditioner and soap? I really like Dove body wash. I buy whatever's cheapest at the salon for shampoo and conditioner
34. Do you talk in your sleep? Yes. I also hit.
35. Ocean or pool? Pool
36. Sauna or whirlpool. Who likes to sweat? I LOVE me a nice hot tub though
37. Starbucks or Krispy Kreme? I love donuts, but am not fond of Krispy Kreme. Maybe because they don't make apple fritters. Love Starbucks.
38. Window seat or aisle? Doesn't matter as long as it's not the middle.
39. Ever met anyone famous? Marie Osmond when I lived in Provo. She's not the nicest person.
40. Do you feel you've had a truly successful life? I feel I've done a lot, but I don't know what makes one successful.
41. Do you twirl or cut your spaghetti? Cut
42. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey? Oprah, although she's a bit condescending
43. Basketball or football? I hate sports
44. How long do your showers last? 15 minutes
45. Automatic or stick? Automatic. I just don't feel comfortable with stick.
46. Cake or ice cream? Frosting!!!
47. Are you self conscious? Yes
48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up? Unfortunately yes, too many times to count. As I get older though I've figured out how to limit myself.
49. Have you ever given money to a beggar? No. Gave it to a guy who wasn't begging but looked like he needed it.
50. Have you ever been in love? Yes
51. Where do you wish you were? In bed asleep.
52. Are you wearing socks? No
53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, in Poland we got rear ended and my chair broke and I went down, hard.
54. Can you tango? I got an A in my dance class senior year of college. We may have done the tango but don't recall. Is it the same as the cha-cha?
55. What was the last gift you received? From my MIL for Valentines Day. Some earrings and chocolates.
56. What was the last sport you played? Like I said, I hate sports.
57. What things do you spend a lot of money on? Clothes for the girl, scrapbooking stuff, food.
58. Where do you live? Middle of nowhere USA
59. Where were you born? Missouri
60. Last wedding attended. My own
61. Spit or swallow? Ugh. That whole thing makes me gag.
62. Favourite position? Off the edge of the bed with man standing up.
63. What is your most hated food? Brussel sprouts and bloody meat.
64. What is your most hated pop? Mountain Dew. I don't like to drink pee.
65. Can you sing? Yes. But not well. That's one thing I really wish I could do.
66. Who was the last person you instant messaged? It's been so long, probably my mom!
67. Where was the last place you went on holiday? Utah
68. Favourite regular drink? Diet coke
69. Favourite current song? Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap