Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Sometimes I feel like my life just sucks. Utterly and completely. One day last week, don't remember which, I called hubby at work to ask him something. The girl tells me he had left for the day, although it was only 2 and he was scheduled til 7. I was going into town anyway, so I thought I'd drive by his work and make sure the girl wasn't just screwed up. His car was not there. So like any suspicious wife I drove to bar ave, found his car, then found him in his favorite bar, doing a crossword puzzle while smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. WHY????? We went outside and I told him AGAIN that I wouldn't put up with this, that if he continued to drink and smoke that I would leave. I do not want Chickadee raised in this environment. He just doesn't seem to get it. Doesn't get why I don't really want to talk to him (now that it's about a week later), why I'm upset with him, why I'm so damn suspicious of everything he says. I have no trust in him. I am at a complete loss. If it weren't for this damn house, I'd leave. Go live with my dad, which the thought of absolutely horrifies me, or move in with hubby's parents 3 states away. I want a husband I can trust. One that doesn't drink all the time. One that answers his damn cell phone and tells me where he is and when he'll be home. I'm only 26, I don't want to waste my entire life worrying about this shit. Because I know it can be better. I also know it could be a lot worse, but I opt for better.
See, this is why I didn't want to restart this blog. All I do is bitch about hubby.
I'll try to better tomorrow. I'll bitch about something else.